Today I enjoyed the long-awaited spring weather by taking a walk at a local arboretum. As I admired the daffodils that were growing throughout the park, I was reminded of some activities that I sometimes do with clients to help them examine what they need to grow. It occurred to me that I could share the ideas on my blog so that you, too, can have a fun way of exploring what you need to grow!

Because drama therapy tends to use metaphors, we’re going to explore the metaphor of a flower to represent you. We know that flowers require water, sunlight, soil, and nutrients to grow. Let’s explore what you need in order to grow!

The flower: your self-care

The flower represents you and the things that you do to take care of yourself to ensure that you continue to grow. Feel free to write the answers to the following questions for further reflection.

How do you take care of yourself physically? Some examples: eating healthy, getting enough sleep, exercising, taking care of your hygiene, deep breathing, doing yoga or another type of body-centered activity, and allowing yourself to relax when your body longs for it.

How do you take care of yourself emotionally? Some examples: expressing your feelings in ways that are safe for you and others, journaling, doing creative activities, listening to music, watching TV or movies, reading, and engaging in hobbies and other activities you are passionate about.

How do you take care of yourself cognitively? Some examples: doing activities that engage your mind (such as puzzles and games of various kinds), pursuing knowledge that you would like to have, pursuing a formal education in topics you are interested in (e.g. getting a degree or certification in an area of interest), and challenging negative thoughts that you have so that you can focus on more positive thoughts.

How do you take care of yourself socially? Some examples: sticking up for yourself, setting appropriate boundaries with other people (e.g. saying “no” to requests when you feel that saying “yes” would be overextending yourself or otherwise harmful to you), reaching out to your support system when you need help, and spending time with loved ones (including people and animals).

How do you take care of yourself spiritually? Some examples: spending time in places and communities where you feel calm and nurtured, taking part in rituals that are meaningful to you, spending time in situations that bring a sense of awe (such as being in nature or watching a sunset), and being actively engaged in causes that you care about.

The soil: your support system

Although there might be times in your life when you think you might be better off without people in your life (says one who has often joked about living in the mountains with just some goats to keep me company when I have a bad day!), I firmly believe people are social creatures that often thrive because of support from others. Thus, I look at our support systems as the soil that helps our flower selves grow.

Think about the following in regards to your support system: Who are the people that you consider to be your support system? In what ways to they help you grow?

Do you have enough supportive people in your support system? If you would like more, how can you try to meet the kind of people you would like in your life? Or perhaps you would like to strengthen some relationships that you already have? If so, how can you do so?

Do you make use of your support system when you could use some help in your life? If not, what holds you back? If fear or low self-esteem hold you back, is there something that you can do to work through those feelings? (Helpful hint: therapists like me are good at helping with those feelings!)

The weeds: your obstacles

Weeds prevent flowers from growing or thriving because they compete with flowers for water, sunlight, and nutrients. Although weeds can be annoying to deal with, they can usually be controlled. I propose that we view the obstacles we face in life in the same manner.

What are the current weeds you are dealing with? Are they things that are getting in the way of your physical, emotional, cognitive, social, or spiritual growth? Can you yank the weeds out in one try? Or do you have to pull them out little by little? Or maybe you feel that you can’t pull them out but have to find a different way to deal with them (such as putting up a lattice fence for the weeds to grow up and away from you or using something to weaken, but not kill, the weeds)?

I encourage you to think about the ways that you care for yourself to see how you might use those ways to combat your weeds. For example, if someone is draining you of your energy or does not respect your boundaries, use your self-care of setting appropriate boundaries to minimize their effect on you. Another example is to use your self-care of creative coping skills, such as listening to music and doing art, to deal with the weeds of work stress (since obviously it isn’t usually a good idea just to quit your job on the spot when it causes you stress!). You can also use your support system to help deal with your weeds.

The roots: what helps you stay grounded

Your roots are the part of you that helps you stay grounded and present, especially when the weeds are trying to weaken you. You can stay grounded by using your coping skills or turning to your support system for help.

I want to offer a visualization that you can do when you feel the need to be grounded, such as when you are feeling sad or anxious.

Picturing yourself as a flower, sit with your feet placed firmly on the ground. Feel the sturdiness of your feet on the ground, and picture having roots connecting you to the earth. Sit up straight while picturing yourself growing towards sunlight like a flower does. Feel the warmth of the Sun on your face. Take a deep breath, picturing the inhale starting at your roots and going to the top of your head that is soaking up the sunlight. Exhale from the top of your head and back down to your feet, and picture exhaling any feelings that you want to let go of. Take two more breaths in this way.

Remember that you can do this activity any time that you need to feel more calm or present.

The Take Away

What did you learn while asking yourself the above questions? What changes are you going to make to help yourself grow? Feel free to share below or with a trusted loved one so that you can get support.